Before I Let You Go
by MandyCakes
Summary: Elliot talks to Olivia on her wedding day. Takes place about a year and a half or so in the future. EO. My first story...please review! Final Chap Up!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Clearly, I don't own any of the SVU characters. If I did, Olivia and Elliot would finally admit they have feelings for each other and we could all be happy. Dick Wolf's the one with all the money. I'm a college student tryin to make money. Which means I'm broke. Okay I'm through. Enjoy the story.

Elliot talks with Olivia on her wedding day. EO. **Please, Please review! I'll beg if I have to**.

Elliot stood outside of Olivia's dressing room, trying to determine if he should go in. He took a deep breath…why had he waited so long? Why couldn't he have told her before? _I have to tell her. I have to do this._

He lightly knocked on the door, seeing Casey's head peek out to see who it was. "Elliot! What are you doing here? No boys allowed," she joked. Elliot grinned a bit, his previous thoughts still occupying his mind.

"I need to talk to Olivia," he told Casey. "Is that Elliot?" he heard Olivia call from inside the room. "Yeah. I'll leave you two alone for a while. Don't be long," Casey told him, letting him inside.

Elliot sighed again, his anxiety level at an all-time high. "Liv?" he called her nickname, guessing she was in front of a mirror trying to perfect herself. She was already perfect to him though. "Just a sec," she called, her voice muffled by the door.

He paced a bit, finally sitting in a nearby chair. Elliot buried his face in his hands, wondering if this was the right thing to do. It would have been easier to do this before…when he realized how he really felt…

_They were on an early morning stakeout, waiting for the perp to show up. "Come on…where is he?" Olivia wondered, tapping her fingers against the doorframe. "He'll show up eventually, Liv…I know how bad you wanna catch this creep. I do too," Elliot glanced at her. Her golden brown shoulder length hair was tucked behind her ears, she didn't have any makeup on, and she was biting her lip and tapping her fingers against something like she always did when she got anxious…she was tired as hell and on a caffeine high, but at that moment, Elliot realized something. Somehow along the way, during the past seven years…after all the stakeouts and late nights reading over case files and interrogating perps…the inside jokes, and the little things he learned about her that no one else knew…he had fallen for her. He wasn't sure when it had started…probably the moment he looked into those big brown eyes the day they became partners. "Elliot? What is it? You were gone for a minute there," she laughed at him, waving at hand in his face. He looked back at her, smiling at him. He gazed at her a moment, in awe of the beautiful woman sitting beside him. "Nothing. Sleep deprivation," he shrugged, sipping some more coffee._

"Elliot? What's wrong?" he heard Olivia's voice from across the room. He looked up, and his breath caught in his throat. He stood from his seat on the chair, staring at the angelic creature a few feet away.

The rays of sunlight coming through the window behind Olivia illuminated the ornate designs on her strapless cream-colored gown.

"I've never seen anyone so beautiful… you look amazing, Liv," Elliot told her.

Her cheeks flushed at his comment. "Thanks…you don't look too bad yourself Stabler," she grinned eyeing his tux. He smiled back, sighing again.

"So…here we are," Olivia began, moving closer to him. _How do I do this? Can I do this?_

"Yep. Look…I um…here, sit down," he guided her to the loveseat on the other side of the room. "Olivia…we've known each other for almost a decade now."

"You're my partner, my best friend…and probably the strongest person I know…" his clear blue eyes met her chestnut ones. She grinned, feeling his hands surround hers. "You've been through a lot, Liv."

"We've been through a lot...together. You've always been there for me when I needed you. Even when I tried to shut you out. You help keep me together when I think I'm gonna fall apart."

Elliot glanced down at their intertwined hands, gathering his thoughts. He sighed for the millionth time, unaware of the tears pooling in her eyes.

"El, that's so sweet of you to say," a tear fell on his hand as she sniffed. He looked up and wiped at her cheek, allowing himself to become immersed in her beauty. _Say it, Stabler. Three words. Spit it out. _"You deserve all the happiness in the world," he told her, barely above a whisper.

Olivia smiled through her tears and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Elliot buried his face in her neck, pulling her as close as physically possible. "Thank you. I am…Joshua _has_ made me happy. I'm so lucky to have you in my life, Elliot. I don't know what I'd do without you," she hugged him tighter at that moment.

A lump formed in his throat and fresh tears clouded his vision. _I can't do this. She's finally happy. I can't take that away from her. I love her too damn much. _"I don't know what _I'd_ do without _you_." He kissed her cheek, then her forehead, holding her face in his hands.

There was a knock at the door. Casey. He stood, regaining what little composure he had left. "Come in," said a voice he didn't recognize as his own. It was the voice of a man whose heart was breaking.

"Hey," Casey entered, grinning at the two teary-eyed detectives. "It's almost time. Elliot, I think the other groomsmen are on the verge of sending out a search party for you," Casey informed him. "Guess that's my cue…I'll see you two out there," he opened the door, locking eyes with Olivia for a moment before closing it behind him.

"What was that all about?" Casey turned to look at her friend. "What do you mean?" Olivia wiped at her face, standing in front of the nearest mirror. "What did uh…is Elliot okay?" she was curious.

Olivia sighed, turning around to face her friend.

"Uh…yeah…he's okay. It's just an emotional day, you know?" she forced a grin. "Oh. Yeah…it is an emotional day. I guess that explains why he was crying like a baby, huh?" Casey asked, seeing Olivia avert her gaze. Casey knew that Elliot had some deep feelings for Olivia. Did he finally tell her how he felt?

"I don't know, okay? I don't know what to think, Casey. Why are you asking me this?" she was getting frustrated. "It's not important. I was just wondering what Elliot had to tell you. Forget it," Casey waved it off, turning to grab their bouquets. Olivia paused and thought for a moment. 'What _did_ Elliot have to tell me?' Casey handed Olivia her flowers.

"You look flawless…Joshua is so lucky to have you," she smiled. "Thanks, Casey. I'm lucky to have you as a friend," they embraced, both getting teary. "You ready?" Casey grinned, raising an eyebrow. "As I'll ever be."

Everything was in slow motion for Olivia. She saw Casey turn and smile at her before heading down the aisle before her. Then the organ started playing the wedding march. Everyone in the small church stood, turning expectantly until she emerged from behind the doors.

She drew in a deep breath, her pulse racing. Olivia smiled, a nervous smile nonetheless, and looked up at the altar. She saw Joshua, his hands clasped in front of him, waiting for her. Then her gaze drifted to the man on his left. Elliot. His eyes were focused on her, and hers on him.

She allowed herself to get lost in those big pools of blue for the first time in a long time. And in doing so, she found herself. He tried to blink them back, but she saw the tears slip from his eyes. There was a sadness there she had never seen before and suddenly she wanted to run to him and make it go away. Olivia felt her breath catch in her throat. And then she knew. Well, who was she kidding? She had known…

_Olivia yawned and finished her glass of water, sitting it on her coffee table. She glanced at the clock. 3:23. She was watching Ghost, one of her all-time favorite movies. She had insomnia…again. More dreams of the psychos she dealt with everyday…but it was an occupational hazard. She should've known from day one it would be hard for her to get sleep. Elliot knew. Maybe he was awake. She opened her cell phone, glancing through her contact list, but closed it thinking twice. "No…it's too late," she whispered to herself, suddenly hearing a knock at the door. Stopping the movie, she stood and approached it apprehensively, making note of where her gun was. Olivia let out a sigh of relief and opened the door to her exhausted looking partner. "I'm sorry, Liv…I just…" he looked apologetic, shrugging his shoulders. "I can't sleep either. Come on," she grabbed his hand and locked the door behind him. "I hate being in that house alone. I can't stand it sometimes," Elliot told her, sitting on the couch. "I know you do," she sighed, yawning again. "I wish I could sleep…but this case has got me wide awake," Olivia told him opening the fridge. "Yeah…that's for sure," he replied, watching her. "Want some warm milk?" she grinned at him, holding the carton up. He let out a small laugh. "Under normal circumstances, I'd decline, but I think I'll take you up on that offer, Benson," he smiled, walking into the kitchen. "Ha! Who would've known? Detective Elliot Stabler drinks warm milk before bed. Wonder what Munch and Fin will say when I tell them?" she pushed the microwave closed. "I don't think so, Liv…that's **so** not gonna happen," he grinned moving closer to her. "Oh really? You're gonna stop me?" Olivia asked, watching a broad smile appear on his face. "Hmm…" he turned and walked back in the living room, opening her video cabinet, "I seem to recall…someone has a secret stash of chick flicks behind all the action/horror movies." Elliot saw the look on her face and he knew he got her. "Fine…I won't tell them," rolling her eyes, she grabbed the cups of milk and handed one to him. "Thanks," he sighed, sitting next to her on the couch. "Were you watching somethin' when I came in?" he wondered, staring at the blue screen. "Umm…well…" she hoped she'd find the remote before he did. No such luck. "Ahh ha! Ghost…I knew you loved these kind of movies. Liv, you don't have to be embarrassed…I know you," Elliot grinned at her and she blushed a bit. She looked at him and noticed how cute he was when he smiled. He should've done it more often. "I know you do." They continued to joke with each other, enjoying the other's company. As the movie played, Olivia leaned into Elliot, and he wrapped his free arm around her, both too tired to talk anymore. "This feels nice," Elliot whispered softly, burying his nose in her hair. "Mm hmm," she mumbled with her eyes closed. They fell into a restful sleep, the best they'd had in a long time._

Olivia took a deep breath as she got closer to the altar. What was she doing? She tore her eyes away from Elliot and back to Joshua. 'Just focus on Joshua... the man you came here to marry. The man you…the man you love.' Olivia attempted to get thoughts of Elliot out of her mind. It was no use. The tears had stopped flowing, but his blue eyes still glistened with threatening ones. She was a few feet away from the altar now. Joshua's outstretched hand extended toward her. She knew what she had to do…


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: Clearly, I don't own any of the SVU characters. If I did, Olivia and Elliot would finally admit they have feelings for each other and we could all be happy. Dick Wolf's the one with all the money. I'm a college student tryin to make money. Which means I'm broke. Okay I'm through._ _Thanks for reviewing! There's another short chapter after this._ **Please, Please review! I'll beg if I have to**._ Sorry this is so short...next chap will be up very soon._

Elliot slammed his front door shut, his eyes red and puffy. He sat his suit jacket in a nearby chair, loosening his tie. He opened the refrigerator, grabbing a couple beers from the bottom shelf. He walked back into the living room, his eye catching a picture Lizzie had taken of him and Olivia a few months ago. He slumped over in his chair, running hands over his face. This had to have been the worst day of his life.

Worst than the day Kathy left him. He thought he'd fall apart when he saw her smile as she neared the altar…then she looked at him. She looked at him with those endearing eyes. And that was it. He took a large gulp of beer and stood, walking over to the window. "Liv, where **are** you?" he asked himself sighing deeply. Everything had happened so quickly…

_Elliot watched Olivia, and saw Joshua extend his hand to her. She was crying silently and looked away from him to meet Joshua's gaze. She glanced at Casey, who looked worried. "Olivia." Joshua had said her name, raising an eyebrow and forcing a smile. She found Elliot's eyes on her once more then glanced down._

_"I'm so sorry…" Olivia shook her head, "I'm sorry. I can't."_

_Joshua's hand had fallen limply to his side. "What?"_

_"I'm sorry," she turned, grabbing her dress and walking briskly back down the aisle._

_"Olivia wait!" Joshua followed her, frustration etched on his features._

_"Liv!" Elliot followed in close pursuit, wondering what was going through his partner's head. He caught up with Joshua, who stood in defeat as Olivia's car left the parking lot. Joshua looked down in defeat, breathing heavily. "Why would she do this?" He glanced at Elliot worriedly. Elliot sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know…we'll find her, okay? Don't worry."_

The ringing doorbell brought him out of his reverie. He took another sip of beer and sat it on the table. He opened the door. He stared at her for a moment. Her hair was pulled back as it was for the wedding, but a bit disheveled. She'd obviously been crying…tears were still in her eyes. She wore what he recognized as her favorite pair of sweatpants and a blue t-shirt. She stared back at him then looked elsewhere, unsure of what he thought about everything that happened. He stepped aside, nonverbally indicating he wanted her company. He followed her to the living room and they sat on the couch. Elliot glanced at her, waiting for her to speak.

"Talk to me, Liv." he decided to break the silence, searching her brown eyes.

She finally met his eyes, full of concern. She shrugged, "I just got back from Joshua's. He was really upset…how could I do this to him Elliot? What kind of person am I?" her voice broke as she started to cry again, wiping her face.

"Liv…you're not a bad person. No one thinks that of you, okay? You weren't ready, that's all," he pulled her close, rubbing her arm.

"I thought I was. I was so sure. But then I…" She paused, unsure of how to go on.

"Hmm? You what?" Elliot felt her pull away from him and glance down.

Olivia opened her mouth to speak, but stopped. She felt her pulse race. She couldn't tell him. Could she?

"Elliot…" she took a deep breath, finding his eyes. _Just say it already, Olivia._ "There's something I have to say."


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: Yep…I don't own anything. Just the ideas. Last Chapter…enjoy!_

"Elliot…" she took a deep breath, finding his eyes. _Just say it already, Olivia._ "There's something I have to say."

"Okay." He watched her fiddle with a ring on her right hand. He grinned momentarily. She'd worn it for as long as he could remember...and she'd always mess with it when she was contemplating something.

"Today, as I was walking down the aisle, I realized something…actually, I was reminded of something. Something I've known for a while now. Before today, I was so sure that Joshua was the one for me and that I wanted to be with him…but now I'm not so sure."

It was Elliot's heart's turn to speed up. Why wasn't she sure? What changed? "What do you mean?" he watched her twirl the ring around her finger.

"When-- when I saw you at the altar standing next to Joshua, I remembered what you said when you came to talk to me. How we've been through so much together and always leaned on each other…then I started thinking about you…and I …I thought of all the times in the past when I'd look at you. I'd look into your eyes and feel something for you. But I pushed it aside…I pushed it aside for so long because you were happy…you were married. And when I met Joshua, I think a part of me forgot how I really felt. But when I was walking down the aisle, I looked into your eyes again for the first time in a long time…and I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't marry Joshua…because I'm in love with you."

Tears fell from her brown eyes, as she exhaled. Elliot stared at her in disbelief. She what? He wanted somebody to pinch him…this couldn't be real. His eyes had filled with tears as he tried to absorb everything. Olivia twiddled her fingers. She saw Elliot's expression. Why wasn't he saying anything? "Elliot…look- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said-I just…I thought that…"

As he watched her stumble over words, he realized loved her more in that moment than he ever had. She was so cute. Elliot grinned slightly and leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. Olivia tensed up initially, but relaxed as the kiss deepened and his tongue found hers. Both felt the electricity course through their bodies, and neither wanted the moment to end. Elliot pulled away for a moment and leaned his forehead against hers.

"Now there's something I have to say… I'm in love with you. I love you so much…I don't know what to with myself anymore. I'm useless without you. I need you, Liv."

He caught a tear slipping down her cheek as she started to cry again. "I need you too." Olivia said through her tears, allowing him to gently wipe them away. Elliot passionately kissed her again, happy to finally be able to express how much he loved this woman. And this time…he didn't stop.

**The End! Review…I may write a sequel.**


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